Because of my posts about being a nonprofit wage slave, and being unable to make rent on a nonprofit “salary”, someone took issue with this. Actually, more than one person did, and I’m glad about it. I got a reader email saying,

“I HATE YOUR PITY PARTY! IF YOU DON’T LIKE HOW YOU’RE PAID IN NONPROFITS THEN GET OUT!”

And some other, less choice words.

And well, shoot man.

What are people who want to change the world supposed to do? Some of us are best suited to being social workers. Some of us are best suited to being therapists. Some of us are best suited to being bus drivers or nonprofit office managers. We still deserve a higher wage. I will show you why.

Here’s my question for you.

Why should people in the nonprofit sector make less than every other sector?

Rick Cohen on Blue Avocado says, “It’s official, we’re paid less than any other sector.”

Proof:

And it's not like we're going to get paid significantly more in other sectors.

The fact is man, wages haven’t risen since the 1970s in most sectors.

Proof:

More Proof:

That means MOST people, not just nonprofits, are getting the short end of the stick. Especially women. Especially women of color. So even if we “get out of the sector” it is not much better out there than in here.

And people from every economic strata, such as doctors, nurses, air traffic controllers, hotel maids, pepsi truck drivers, are getting shafted. Here’s a post I did about how no sector is safe. Using data and detailed economic research and in-depth investigative journalism from Mother Jones. One of the top progressive nonprofit news sources in the US.

Starting your own business is not the answer.

You ended with a “start your own business” rant and frankly, that’s not a reality for most people. We shouldn’t have to start our own businesses to make a living wage. Not everyone is suited to being an entrepreneur.

America is also not one of the best places to start a business, contrary to popular myth. The best places? New Zealand. Canada. Australia. According to DoingBusiness.com, the US is ranked 13th in ease of starting a business.

Maybe next time you criticize someone wanting to help people get paid more, you should do your own research into this issue. It’s easy for you, as an english-speaking white man with a cushy job at a foundation in America with many resources to get started as an entrepreneur.

Have you ever stopped to consider what the barriers are for a black woman with two kids? A single mom of any color? What about a black man coming out of the judicial system? What about a hispanic man who may not speak English?

Income equality will help EVERYONE’s standard of living rise. And that IS worth fighting for.

We need to speak for those who need our support to get pay parity. Income equality. Equal treatment no matter what the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, how long they’ve been unemployed, or how many children they have or are planning to have. Maybe you’ve never experienced this discrimination personally, but let me tell you, it’s out there.

The Spirit Level Book (a must read!)

In a truly equal society, as argued in “The Spirit Level, Why Equality is Better for Everyone,” by Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett, say:

Since we finished writing The Spirit Level in the spring of 2008, there have been many more studies reporting relationships between inequality and health. Nine of the new studies look specifically at rich, developed countries. Seven find, as we do, that health is worse in more unequal societies.

AND

“There is now evidence that inequality played a central causal role in the financial crashes of 1929 and of 2008. We suggested that inequality leads to increases in debt. It turns out that they are intimately related.” For more details, check out this article.

So if you think that it doesn’t matter that people at nonprofits don’t make enough money, then you’re basically saying that you don’t care that people who want to make the world better are less healthy, and that we have more giant financial crashes.

From the same article above:

“In his first major speech as leader of the Labour Party (in the UK), Ed Miliband said: “I do believe this country is too unequal and the gap between rich and poor doesn’t just harm the poor, it harms us all . . .”"

Let me just clarify this once and for all.

THIS IS NOT A PITY PARTY.

I’m here to call attention to disparities. I’m here to be a cultural critic. I’m here to help people think about how they want to change their worlds, their nonprofits, their lives.

My prescription for positive change? Unionize. Organize. Get clear about what you want to change and then change it. I’m not going to change it for you. But I’m not going to pretend that business as usual is just fine with me.

Wake up man! This is NOT a meritocracy.

And this is not a pity party. This is a call to action.

Do you understand me now?

You can tell the pioneers, because they’re the ones with arrows all over their chests.

I’m happy to stand beside Dan Pallotta, a white man who writes for the Harvard Business Review, and author of “Uncharitable” and agitate for a stronger nonprofit sector, to agitate for everyone who is getting underpaid at nonprofits right now. To agitate for better pay and better treatment for everyone. If that means unions, then so be it. If there’s another way, I’d be open to hearing what it is.

I’m happy to speak up. And I hope if you feel the same way, you’ll leave a comment, email me, or say hi on Twitter.

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This is not a pity party. You understand? originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on January 16, 2012.

Are you getting to the age when you are not interested in accepting $28,000 a year anymore? Yeah, me neither.

Did you know that the way executive salaries have ballooned in the last twenty years, we should all be making $50,000 per year MINIMUM? Yeah, that’s so far from the current typical nonprofit wage as to see the curvature of the universe.

Have you ever wondered how to negotiate for a nonprofit salary?

It’s a little trickier than negotiating for a for-profit salary, because they can always pull this line on you, “HOW MUCH DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE MISSION IF YOU WANT TO GET PAID MORE” Etc.

But you DO need to get paid more. Because we are the lowest paid industry. Unless you’re working at a hospital or university. Then you’re probably getting paid a little better. But check out this chart.

(this graph is from Blue Avocado)

See? I told you! Even government workers get paid more than you. So, think of your future, think of saving for retirement, think of paying off your student loans, and think of NOT EATING RAMEN EVERY NIGHT OKAY.

You have to do your research.
Here’s a study from Guidestar on what executives are getting paid. And if you look up the nonprofit you’re considering applying for a job for on Guidestar, you can see what the current ED makes and look at what they’ve made over the last two or three years as well. If you’re not gunning for an executive level job, then just maybe cut that salary in half and that’s probably what you’ll be making, or less.

You have to tread carefully, and know what to say. But WHAT DO YOU SAY?

Case Study:
Yesterday I had this conversation with my friend, let’s call her Donna.

Donna had been an executive director for over ten years at other organizations, and for two years, she has been looking for a new job. She did jobs on the side to get through, but her unemployment had run out and she was struggling.

I had an RSS feed set up for nonprofit jobs, and when I saw this executive director job, I jumped on it and sent it to her. Then she replied and said thank you! And then she asked me to check out the 990 form on Guidestar for her, and I did, and I said,

“Uh Oh, you are NOT going to make a high salary at this place, their budget is pretty small” and she said, “Well, that’s okay.”

Then she asked me to look at her her resume and cover letter. So I did, I rewrote them and reformatted them and sent them back to her. We had a couple of weeks of interviews, phone, skype, and in person, and I celebrated with her that she had got that far, trying to not expect more…

Then last week she called me and said, “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT” and I said, “REALLY” and she said “I GOT THE JOB!!!!” And we did a little victory dance over the phone, and she stopped by with flowers for me.

When she stopped by she explained to me what was going on at this nonprofit. It’s a small, rural nonprofit and they do have some government grants but they depend mainly on their yearly event (for which nothing has been done yet) and they are struggling. They need new case managers and everyone is trying to pull together.

When I asked her how the salary negotiations went, she told me she had to really fight to get $65,000.

“How did you do it?” I asked.

She replied,

“Here’s what happened. We were in this room, and the contract was there, and they were pushing me to sign it, and I looked at the bottom, and it only said $60,000. And I just sort of sat there and looked at it. And one person there said, “Is there something wrong?” And I said, “In all of the places this job was posted, the salary range was from $50,000 to $65,000.” And then someone else said, “Well, with your qualifications and the salary research we did for this region blah blah blah” but she didn’t have to listen to that person, because her experience is over 10 years of executive level experience, and so I said nothing and then the first person said, “Donna, what will it take to make you happy?” And I said, “I need to see that the board is behind me and believes that I can raise this money” and then the first person quickly took the contract back and crossed out $60,000 and wrote in $65,000″ and then I signed it and that was that.”

I actually clapped at this point and she smiled. She said, “It would have taken me 10 years to get a $5,000 increase in salary, and I knew I had to negotiate it now.”

Then she told me, “Between you and me, they are going to get half of that money back because I am going to buy two tickets for their gala and give $100 a month to this nonprofit, so that I can ask each board member to do the same.”

I thought that was really smart. So if you’re going up for an executive director job, you should build in some buffer that you will be donating to the nonprofit as well.

Are you inspired by this case study? Want to get a nonprofit job, FAST?

You can hire me to look over your resume and cover letter too.

I happen to be teaching a free webinar about moving up in your nonprofit career this December at CharityHowTo.com.

You can also get the Nonprofit Career Guide Free

Or the Wild Woman’s Guide to Nonprofit Management for just $9.99 til December 31st, 2011!

PS.
Here are some more resources on nonprofit salaries
Rosetta Thurman’s blog post on salary negotiation
Allison Jones’ blog post on salary negotiation
Blue Avocado’s Jan Masoka on how much executive director salaries should be

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Case Study: How to negotiate your nonprofit salary? originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on November 10, 2011.

So these past seven months I’ve been working on a new book. And it was going to be called 3-D Reputation Engine. I was pushing myself towards an end of August deadline, and now I’m glad I didn’t make it.

Because we were on a walk with the dog in the Greenbelt in Austin a few days ago, and Steve brought it up. He said, “You’re having a lot of problems getting the cover together for your new book. Maybe it’s the title. Or maybe you should stick with Wild Woman.”

Then it hit me. He’s totally RIGHT. I’m the author of the Wild Woman’s Guide to Fundraising. It’s sold all over the world. People like the book. I like the book. I like the title. I like the look. I’ve made a bunch of apps around the book and brand. I like the whole package.

And people know me as the author of this book. When I bring it to networking events, people are magnetically drawn to it. They are WAY more interested in hearing about this than Treyz Social Media or 3-D Reputation Engine. So why would I change it for my next book? Why would I build up an entirely new brand for that?

Strange as it may seem, obvious as it may seem, that just did not hit me until right now.

I guess I was afraid that men would be turned off by the title if I called my book The Wild Woman’s Guide to Social Media. I guess I was afraid it wouldn’t seem “corporate-friendly’ enough. I guess I was afraid that I couldn’t compete with the other social media for business books out there unless I left my wild self behind.

But then I realized, this is me!

I don’t want to pour myself into a corporate mold, put myself under pressure to conform for some shadowy future entity. I mean, look at Seth Godin. He gave his business books out in cereal and milk boxes! He writes books called “All Marketers Are Liars” and he is feted at many a business conference and his books are New York Times best-sellers! Who am I to try to be “normal” just to please people who probably just want me to be myself anyway?

Does this make sense to you? When I say Wild, here’s what I mean.

I mean not taking drugs or doing something equally stupid, like rattling down a giant hill face down on a skateboard with no helmet.

No, when I say wild, I mean taking a risk.

Taking a risk by standing up for yourself at work. Being emotionally honest enough in your relationships to get what you need. Taking a risk by going somewhere you’ve never been, and doing something you’ve never done, to learn, for the joy of it. That’s what Wild means to me. It means pushing your own boundaries, trying to get the most out of each day, feeling the urgency of time slipping by, and working with your life to make something happen between now and when you die.

I mean, that’s wild, to me. It doesn’t mean we have to go live in the woods. It doesn’t mean appropriating any tribal culture. It means going against the dominant paradigm. It means waking up. Creating a legacy with your life. Whatever that means for you.

So I bought Wild Social Media.com, Wild Woman Social Media.com, emailed my graphic designer and told her the new plan, and now…I can breathe a big sigh of relief. This new book is going to be packed full of the same sassy advice and same hands-on, how-to worksheets and checklists as the last book, with bonus metrics application ratings and everything, AND it’s going to be called “The Wild Woman’s Guide to Social Media.” It just makes sense! It’s more… ME!

How do you get wild?

Did you ever get really far down a path and realize that you shouldn’t have gone that way?

What did it teach you? I’d love to get your comments!

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I just realized something. originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on September 7, 2011.

Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed, Desiree! I appreciate it!

0. What is your background in nonprofits?

My background is actually social work. I started my career working with at risk youth. I worked at and managed summer camps for over 10 years and working with young men and women on probation. I have With twenty-five plus years of progressive nonprofit management experience. I have served in senior-level roles in the nonprofit and grant management sectors for such renowned organizations as Habitat for Humanity International where I was the Sr. Director of Volunteer Mobilization and Rotary International where I was the director of their largest Humanitarian Grant program. My industry expertise also includes information technology, youth focused non-profit, social justice non-profit, and faith based organizations. I look to ensure that the organizations I work with have the systems in place in order to leverage social, human and financial capital. I have lived, worked and traveled to over 20 countries including Germany, Mexico, India, El Salvador, Mozambique, Tajikistan, Bali, Egypt, Dubai and South Africa.

1. What drew you to nonprofit work?

It was my passion. I was an International Development major in college and wanted to work and live in Africa. The more I learned about the complexity of development work the more I realized that some of the skills around community building where just as applicable to my community on the south-side of Chicago as it was to a community in South Africa. I started working with inner city youth at a summer camp while in college and was hooked. Designing programs that engaged people and built communities was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

2. What do you like about blogging?

Well I am a horrible writer—horrible! So the thought of writing regularly for other people to see terrified me. My best friend has been blogging for about 5 years now. Her blogging actually led to a book deal. I am not looking for a book deal at all but once I started, I had no idea how much I would love blogging. I have gotten great response from readers and it is now one of my favorite things to do. I actually have gotten quite a few clients from blogging.

2.5. What’s one of your favorite blog posts (or most controversial) so far, and why?

Hmmmm I have a few.

One of my favorites is a post entitled Bold, Brave and Fearless. It’s me calling out the nonprofit sector…pushing folks to paint a new vision for our industry. What if we invested in R&D or marketing like for profit companies do. What would our impact look like then?

Another favorite is a post title: The Courage to Create. It’s my love letter to all the cultural creative change agents among us. Every day they stand up and share their voice. Share their vision. Share their passion…. That takes courage and I wanted to acknowledge that.

One of my most popular was actually a milestone post. It was my 100th blog post. Its titled Do Not Apologize. It’s very different from what I normally write but this was for the nonprofit professional who is always apologizing for what they do— to partners, parents, friends… I am giving people permission to live out their beliefs and passion, regardless of voices telling you differently.

3. How do you find new clients?

Twitter, Facebook, word of mouth, networking event, conferences, connections in the industry—any and everywhere. I like people and am passionate about my work.. I like talking about it and I like being of service. I may have helped someone with a quick problem 6 months ago for free…. And today when they are looking for outside help/support they will call me.

4. What advice would you give people who are starting to be nonprofit consultants?

It takes a lot of hard work—you have to be willing to hustle. You have to be willing to promote yourself. Start doing a few projects on the side while you still have your regular gig. Understand what it means to get hired by a client—negotiate a contract and expectations around the work, make sure your prices fit well within the market. Have systems and templates created for handling money and contracts . After the project is complete get feedback—have an evaluation system in place so your clients have a formal way to offer suggestions so you can continue to grow.

5. What advice would you give to people who want to get into entrepreneurship?

The best advice I ever got—create multiple revenue streams for your business. Large consulting projects can take months to close and get approval through internal channels. Government projects will not pay until 90 days after work is completed—what cash/income will you have coming through the door during down times?

6. What keeps you going when things get tough?

My belief in that my worst day being self-employed was better than my best day working for others. I love the flexibility…I love know that I can choose who I work with and when I work. I have taken on a lot more risk but I have also taken on a lot more creativity and doors have opened that I never saw coming.

7. How do you deal with fear when starting a new venture or career?

You acknowledge it. It is scary. You have to create a tribe of folks to support you who are in the same place. I cannot talk to my mom about starting a business. She retired from her company after 40 years on the job, She can be sympathetic but she does not understand. I talk to people who have experience balancing cash flow issue, or finding health insurance. When I feel exceptionally vulnerable I go on a “naysayer diet”- naysayers are those friends and family who think they are helping by telling you to go get a “job”. Nope. I do not want to hear that….so when I am feeling weak I do not contact those folks or let them into my world at all. I call my council of jedi knights who believe in both me and my business.

8. What is one thing that a nonprofit person can do, right now, to take control of their career?

Understand that everyone is self-employed. You may get a weekly check but you ultimately own your career and professional development. There is on security—only opportunity. You have to be willing to go where the opportunities are. Also know when it’s time to go. It may be time to weigh your organizations needs and the needs of your own heart.

I get it. I felt physically and emotionally at the end of my rope when I left my last organization. I was drained and felt guilty that I was not giving the organization and communities that I loved my very best. Until I realized one critical thing: I was not alone! Crazy, I know!

So I started talking with others nonprofit professionals and found out that so many others were feeling the same way. Suffering in silence was not good for me, my family, my staff or the communities we served. And it’s not good for you !For the good of your organization, the communities you serve and your professional reputation make sure you truly present. If not then it may be time to go.

Desiree Adaway

Thank you so much for such a fabulous interview Desiree! If you want to get into Desiree’s coaching program, her website is here. And if you have any questions for Ms. Adaway, please leave them below!

Do you want to be a nonprofit consultant? Read this interview with Desiree Adaway originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on June 6, 2011.

Today is your chance! No matter where you are in the world, you can come to my free webinar, and ask questions!

Free Nonprofit Career Webinar Today! Are you coming to my free webinar on stalking the wild nonprofit interview today? It’s 1-1:30pm CST! Click here to join us!

Let us now praise women’s bookstores! My books are now being sold at BookWoman in Austin, TX! Only the most progressive, feminist women’s bookstores for me, you see!

Guest post on Trolls! I wrote a post over on the NetSquared blog about how to deal with negative feedback in your online community! It’s got ways to mess with Trolls! Aw yeah. Get over there and comment!

And Finally! This is for locals!

Are you in Austin?

Want to change the world?

You need money to do it!

Come to Bookwoman on June 8th at 7pm and get a mini-fundraising workshop from me! As you know, I’m the author of The Wild Woman’s Guide to Fundraising. We’ll cover grants, appeals, sponsorships, and more! It will be totally interactive, with lots of Q & A, and fun quizzes and prizes!

Only $5.00, limited to 30 people, you can get in on the action right here!

Anyplace I should come and meet you? Are YOU doing any webinars anytime soon? Feel free to promote it in the comments!

Come on up and see me! Online Today or at Mini-Fundraising Workshop in June! originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on April 14, 2011.

She said, “I’m no longer a nonprofit professional. I’m an entrepreneur.”

And she articulated something that I’ve been interested in addressing for awhile, but didn’t know how to say.

Rosetta writes,

“Managing a nonprofit and managing a small business are very similar. When I was working full time as a nonprofit employee, I had mostly isolated myself within the sector when it came to my colleagues and continuing education. There was already so much to keep up with in our own little community, that I rarely ventured out to conferences, trainings or even blogs that dealt with more business-focused topics.

Helping people. Exerting your influence. Teaching others. Making sh*t happen. That’s what it’s all about. For me, at least.”

And honestly, that’s how it’s been for me too. I want to help people, teach people, and make things happen. And that doesn’t have to happen under the label of nonprofit professional, or development professional. It will happen, for me, under the label of entrepreneur. I’m going to own that now, too.

Obviously, I’m still helping nonprofits achieve their missions, and consulting with them. However, over the last several months, my clients have been more and more businesses and individuals who want to improve their social media presence, digital marketing chops, and earning capacity.

I’ve started to sell a lot more ebooks, and do a lot of speaking engagements and teaching around how to create your digital marketing presence. And I like it! I like the direction my business is going.

So, do I still want to help social causes? YES. Do nonprofits have the market cornered on do-gooding? NO.

So much of my life revolves around helping people become financially independent without a job, that I have some conflicts about continuing to help people find jobs, which is weird. For years I advocated and helped people find jobs in the nonprofit and government sectors. And I still think that if that’s your path, good for you!

But I’ve found so much joy in being an entrepreneur over the last two years that I wonder if more people who are unhappy in their jobs now would be happier as entrepreneurs.

I mean, for me, the transformation is palpable.

Internally and externally.

Example? I went back to see a close friend in Portland, and she told me, “Your face looks so peaceful now. You have this inner peace radiating from within.” And you might that’s just a nice compliment, but then I went to a post office that I used to frequent, and one of the postal employees said, “Where have you been?” I said, “I moved away” and he said, “What have you been up to?” And I said, “I’ve been doing my own thing” and proceeded to go down the list. He was impressed, and said, “You look so much happier now.” And so there you go. Unbiased evidence that being an entrepreneur can make you happier.

So, what’s going to happen here?

I will keep writing here for now. And I will keep writing my book on social media and digital marketing, and to that end, I’ll be writing more over at Treyz Social Media. I’ll be writing tweets @wildwomanfund. AND I’ll be tweeting at @ctrlsearch as well. Feel free to follow me on Ctrlsearch if you want more tips on how to brand yourself online, create multiple streams of income for yourself, and become more financially free, as well!

Other than that, not much will change.

I’m the chief marketing officer in a project that is kind of like Yelp for everything, we’re seeking Angel funding right now, and that’s pretty exciting to be involved in.

There’s so much going on that I am so happy and I am overwhelmed too.

Do you ever feel caught between two worlds too?

Tell me your story.

How do you deal with the disconnect?

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Are you between two worlds? originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on March 28, 2011.

Last week, which already feels a lifetime away, I was away in Portland and NYC, having a couple of photoshoots.
What were those photoshoots for?

One is for a photobook of poets that Larry Fagin is putting together with John Sarsgard. No, I don’t know when it will be finished, but it will have a lot of good people in there, like Bernadette Mayer, Joanne Kyger, and others, so I’ll let you know when it comes out.

Jenny the Bloggess totally rocks!

Last year I heard about this project called The Blogger Body Calendar because one of my favorite bloggers, The Bloggess was in the calendar. That is her, above. She is so beautiful! Last year money went to a nonprofit fighting eating disorders. This year the theme is survival, and proceeds will go to a nonprofit that raises awareness around survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. So I applied and got in! We were going to keep it a secret until my month (June) but the coordinator announced last night that we could tell the world. So, hey world! I’m in the calendar! It’s going to be so fun! We had a conference call about it and people were all, “What should the photograph themes be?” and I was like, “I know! I know! Ask me! I’ve got lots of ideas! Masks! Folded arms! Drums! Animal skull, Necklace of firecrackers!” Somehow, I don’t think people are going to be picking these.

The Career Clinic with Maureen Anderson

Right before I left, I found out that I am going to be on a nationally syndicated radio show, The Career Clinic, talking about nonprofit jobs on May 7th! I’m SO EXCITED! It will be broadcast everywhere from South Dakota to Hawaii to Maine, and there will be a podcast too that I’ll be posting here. If you have questions you’d like answered on the show, write them to me at info @ wildwomanfundraising dot com, or put a comment below.

Casey Rowe

Also, I’ve been away and when you get back things happen, like all of these meetings, today I met with Casey Rowe of WING, a women’s entrepreneurship group here in Austin, and I’ll be speaking to their group in June.

I also met with Julie Macalik of GreenLights.org, and we talked about the state of the nonprofit sector, and we both agreed that we need to pay nonprofit professionals more. Do you agree? Disagree? Love to hear what you think about that in the comments.

I met with some lovely people at the Amala Foundation, they help people all over the world find peace and compassion.

Went to a presentation on Job, Career or Calling at the Texas Society of Association Executives (TSAE), and I’ll be blogging about that later,

And thanks to Pamela Grow, I also talked with Kurt Steiner of CharityHowTo.com about doing a webinar there, for May, so STAY TUNED!

I also met some of my favorite graphic designers, Lindsay Blackwell and Danielle Bardgette, serendipitously, on a bikepath.

Whew!

And of course I’ve got five more meetings tomorrow.

And the Austin Civic Orchestra concert on Saturday!

I think next week is going to be calmer.

In the midst of the chaos, I am writing a book on social media and managing your online reputation. it’s called “3-D Reputation Engine” and I’m blogging about it at http://3dreputationengine.com, and at my new social media consulting site, http://treyzsocialmedia.com.

I’m having a lot of fun writing this book, putting in even more worksheets, diagrams and helpful tools for people to use to control their online presence, get more clients and sell more products. It’s going to be even funnier and more useful than the Wild Woman’s Guide to Fundraising, because I’m getting better at writing as I go along. It’s also going to be for a broader section of people. I’m writing it for CEOs, major companies, and entrepreneurs, as well as people who are looking for work and want to find a way to help boost their reputation online to up their chances of getting hired.

One of the things that excites me about this field of social media is that it’s always changing, and there’s always more to talk about. And I feel so pumped for this next part of my blogging career.

How about YOU? What have you been up to?

What I was doing when I wasn’t here originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on March 25, 2011.

A thought-terminating cliché is a commonly used phrase, sometimes passing as folk wisdom, used to quell cognitive dissonance. Though the phrase in and of itself may be valid in certain contexts, its application as a means of dismissing dissent or justifying fallacious logic is what makes it thought-terminating.

Kind of like mosquitoes, thought terminating cliches are everywhere.

For example, I used to have a martial arts teacher who would tell us, “Well, that’s just your ego talking.” anytime that anyone disagreed with him. So that made me think I was wrong for disagreeing with him, and shut me up for awhile. Until one day I got tired of always being wrong, and left.

When I read the notes that I took from those days, I think, “Wow. he was just talking out of his head most of the time.” But at the time, that was a thought stopping cliche for me.

Another thought stopping cliche that plagues us in the nonprofit sector is: “Nonprofits should have small overheads.”

Or how about: “nonprofit staff should never make a mistake”

Or “Nonprofits should never spend money on marketing” OR ‘Nonprofit staff should be poorly paid’

OR “Nonprofits should never ask for grants for operating money, but only for projects.”

WHY is it this way?

If you find yourself in a thought-stopping cliche, ask yourself, “Hold on. Is this true? Why do I think this?”
How can we overcome thought stopping cliches?

Other thought-stopping cliches I’ve noticed are:

“The Customer Is Always Right”

“Think outside the box”

“Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic.”

“Don’t drink, don’t think and go to meetings.”

“Taxation is theft”

If you want to see which method people are using on you to try to convince you they are right, check this out.

Another thing that might interest you as a professional fundraiser or marketer is to consider how you use thought-stopping cliches in your appeals and in your persuasive writing.

What cliches automatically make people give to you? What cliches make people NOT want to give to you?

Do you have any thought-terminating clichés? Are you sure? originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on March 18, 2011.

Berdache or "Two-Spirit" in America, late 1880s

So, I majored in Gender Studies, which means that for several years I learned ALL ABOUT gay and lesbian history in America. I got completely fascinated with the proud tradition of berdaches or two-spirit people fulfilling the shaman role in early Native American societies.

I took “Gay New York” to bed with me. I looked up to Harvey Milk.

Harvey Milk

I researched the predominance of American gay men as ambulance drivers and typists in WWII. I interviewed Kate Bornstein, author of My Gender Workbook, Hello Cruel World and transgender activist. It was an eye opening time and I loved it.

In 2001, a friend of mine came out to me. He had never told anyone he was gay. He was 20. He didn’t know where any resources were, despite living near Provincetown and Boston his whole life. Since I didn’t know a lot about various LGBTQ organizations, I pointed him to the now sadly defunct Planet Out (which now redirects to Gay.com), where I thought he might be able to find more people in the community. Then we went to Jacques Cabaret, a piano bar, but we couldn’t get in because I forgot my ID.

A reader emailed me recently and asked me to please please blog about something that she sees a lot, namely, people not understanding why we have all of these LGBTQ organizations, and why they are different, why we need them.

First of all, LGBTQ means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning.

So, why do we need these different kinds of organizations?

>> 26% of adolescent gay males are forced to leave their homes after revealing their sexual orientation. (MA Governor’s Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, 1994)

>> 25-40% of homeless, throwaway, and runaway youth identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. (MA Governor’s Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, 1994)

>> 50% of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youth are rejected by their parents after disclosing their sexual orientation. (Project YES)

So when people of non-mainstream sexual orientations or different gender identifications get isolated in their teens, what happens then is that they can fall into abusive relationships, alcoholism, and drug abuse, as Dan Pallotta pointed out recently on his blog at the Harvard Business Review.

So how do you help explain to people what each different organization does? Well, let’s start here.

Boston Glass: A drop-in center from the Justice Resource Institute to help GLBTQ people 13-25 hang out, get tested for HIV, and learn about healthy relationships. Apparently they were founded in 1995, but we couldn’t find them online when we looked. If they had been around on the internet in 2001, that would have been helpful! If you want to donate to Boston Glass, go here.

Q Center: Helps teens in PDX find community around their sexuality, does HIV tests, has counseling.

LAMBDA: Works for the civil rights of LGBTQ people and people infected with HIV and AIDS.

Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Inc. (GLAAD): Amplifies the voice of the LGBT community by empowering real people to share their stories, holding the media accountable for the words and images they present. This way, GLAAD promotes understanding, increases acceptance, and advances equality.

Bronx Community Pride Center: Provide a safe, common space offering physical and mental health services, social support, recreational and cultural programming, as well as being a hub of information for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals and families in Brooklyn.

Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network: strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. I was a member of the Gay Straight alliance in my high school. Were you?

Illinois Safe Schools Alliance: A nonprofit that helps protect LGBTQ kids from bullying in schools.

Virginia Anti-Violence project: Works to address and end violence within and against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer communities across Virginia. Get into it.

Lesbian and Gay Chorus: A choir made up primarily of lesbian and gay people. You may have seen the Gay Men’s Choir of Portland on the Portlandia trailer, “The Dream of the 90s is alive in Portland.” A lot of major cities have them. For example, LA. And Washington DC.

Austin Texas Pride

Gay Pride: This is a parade and also a festival in many major cities around the USA. I have marched in it. The reason it’s important is because for years LGBTQ people have had to live in silence, hidden, and more. And Gay Pride is a way to celebrate that people don’t have to hide anymore.

Female to Male International Inc: Help females who are becoming or have become male with their transition, and support them in their choices. Go learn more.

National Center for Transgender Equality: Advancing the equality of transgender people through advocacy, collaboration and empowerment. Learn more.

So I hope that you see that there are lots of different kinds of LGBTQ organizations out there, and they do a lot of different things. An FtoM organization is not a choir. A gay pride festival is not a community center.

Because there are so many different systems and oppressions acting on people who express their gender differently, and their sexuality differently, that it’s important to try to shore up the social safety net and catch people to help them feel supported in their choices and their reality. A female transitioning to male may not feel comfortable in a lesbian space, or a gay male space. They may not feel comfortable in a heterosexual space, or even a drag king show. So an FtoM person needs a place to go. Likewise, a teen who is gay or questioning isn’t going to feel comfortable necessarily in a gay choir. Maybe they need to be in a place surrounded by people their own age, and get counseling if they need it about coming out to their family.

Have any fantastic LGBTQ orgs you’d like to add to this list?

Please leave a comment!

What does an LGBTQ nonprofit organization do? originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on March 9, 2011.

If your boss does not understand fundraising, give them a 2 minute explanation of how fundraising works. Show them that they’ll get the best bang for their buck from major gifts, and individuals, and the least from foundations, corporations, and events. There are graphs from Giving USA and Philanthropy Reports that go into detail about where most of the money comes from for nonprofits. There’s also a fun short video above which mentions that 75% of nonprofit money comes from individuals.

Who Gives?

When you educate them about fundraising, you want to show them that you are managing expectations about which of your activities will bring in the most money, and which will bring in the least. So if they ask you where your million dollar grant is, tell them that we’d be better off looking for a person to give us a million dollars, rather than a foundation.

Managing up is tricky, because you never want to give the impression that that’s what you’re doing. You’ve got to think about what management strategies work best for you, and which ones your boss is trying to employ.

Management strategies for your boss can include asking strategic questions, such as:

• What would make you feel like we were moving forward in our program right now?
• How often do you like to communicate?
• Do you prefer telephone, email, or face to face?
• How can I make your job easier?
• What are some of the pressures or issues you’ve got right now?
• Is there something I could be doing better?

Top tip: Always be the first to say you’re sorry, even if you don’t think you should be the one saying it. Sometimes it’s easier to get things done if the tension is alleviated that way. It doesn’t mean that you are accepting blame for something, it just means you have the emotional intelligence to move forward and try to get your team motivated to do their best for your nonprofit.

I’ve recently organized my blog’s archive page to be easier for people to find things, and I have a whole section about nonprofit management and your career in there. Here’s my new archive page!

If you have any tips or tricks that you’ve used to manage up, please leave them below, I’d love to learn from you!

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Managing up when your boss is not a fundraiser! originally appeared on Wild Woman Fundraising on February 22, 2011.